When someone comes out to you...

 

Don't judge. Regardless of your own personal or moral belief about LGBT people, keep in mind that the person has made himself or herself vulnerable. Simply listen to the person.

 

Acknowledge them. Let them know that you heard what they said and ask open-ended questions to show that you are interested and care.

 

Recognize the trust. If someone voluntarily comes out to you he or she is putting a lot of trust in you and has a lot of courage. It can be good to acknowledge that courage and trust.

 

Match their words. Remember that this is about how they identify. It is important to use the same language that they use. If the person self-identifies as gay, then use the word "gay". If he or she uses queer, then use the word "queer".

 

Mirror emotions. You should be mindful of their emotions concerning coming out. If the person is happy, don't talk about difficult it must be.

 

Don't let sex to be your guide. Don't assume, just because someone has had a same-sex sexual encounter that the person identifies as gay. Also don't assume, just because someone identifies as gay, that the person has had a same-sex sexual encounter.

 

Maintain contact. Let the person know that they are still important to you. You don't need to change the way you interact or how often you see the person in the future.

 

Keep confidentiality. LGBT people face many forms of discrimination and harassment in society. It is important to make sure to never share a person's identity unless it is with someone he or she has told you knows. A good rule of thumb is, "if your not sure, don't share".

 

Give resources. When someone comes to you, it is possible that he or she is already very knowledgeable about resources, but he or she also might not know of any. Share what resources you have and make an active effort to learn about new useful resources.

 

Just listen. The most important thing you can do is to listen. Being LGBT isn't a problem that needs soling or something that becomes easy to deal with given just the right resource. LGBT identities are part of who people are. When you listen to people tell you about their identities, you learn more about who that person is.